Doesn't Exist~

That feeling you feel when you think you're so high happy~
the giggles & the butterflies, the laughing & the carefree feeling~
Doesn't exist~ Doesn't exist at all, it's all a lie, a fake cover, a make believe, an illusion.
Its a lie, its a lie~ takes you to heaven then in the end abandons you in hell~

Don't believe it, don't trust it~

Wanting you in driving me insane.

if i stop half-way that means we don't have to know what the ending is right?...cause there would be none~

親善

fuck.

I haven't been on here.

But lately to sum things up:

I've been doing things i don't want to, and don't do things i should.
Fuck my life.

Birthday Plans + Sleeping issues.

So my plans for my birthday are :

Spending it Melbs with my beb Stacey & Dinh & Tifaz!
Will be some good shit! with shopping and CLUBS!! WORD. KEEEEN.

and lately everytime i finish eating i've felt so fuckin' sleepy and tired!! like WTFFFF! Right now i'm so sleepy i can barely open my eyes!! talk about weird.

Anyway so excited for my birthday! I am soo keen to have a holiday clear my head and fuckin PARTAY !!


xx

Grow up;

I wish girls these days would grow up. If they don't realise now that gossiping, name-calling and dramatically causing trouble for everyone else isn't the way to live, then they're going to be in for a BIG shocker!

The best way to go about it is to just leave things at that and move on, only little bitches who like to think they're all that cause trouble, if you're smart and mature leave it.
Just because you fight and win doesn't make you any bigger or better, if anything it makes you look more useless and immature.

So get a life, grow up & Start Learning what its like in the REAL world, not some dellusional one where you think you rule.
Cause in reality...you're nothing but another person.

Extensions;

So i wore my extensions today for the first fuckin' time ever.
I looked like i was drug-fucked! & I'll show you an AWARD winning Mugshot of me.

OKAY well the fucking image loader won't let me, so i'll have to do it another fucking time. FUCK BLOGSPOT!

here it is!

OMG NEW MOON TRAILER! FUCK YEAH!

Better days~

Feeling so MUCH better this morning...& i didn't even sleep! Funny thing is i spent the night up trying to cure myself...and people say SICK people need sleep. THIS IS BULLSHIT. In my case anyway. So much for listening to that!

I am however feeling slightly sleepy now...& bored.
I'll survive...i decided to english-fy my blogg. since no one will understand Swede.
My sore throat is now minimal...but my tiredness is DEF.100% so i should probably sleep soon.

It is afterall 6:30am, and only freaks like me stay up the whole night.
The laptop is also making me feel really hot as I am laying under my duvet with the laptop burning ontop.

Strepsils Honey Lemon & HL tea is my new bestfriend, and my new lifesaver!
Anyone with tips on how to get rid of sickness, HOOK A SISTER UP!

Anyway this blog is really about me feeling completely lost these pass couple of days...i have no idea what i'm doing with my life & FFS TOM IF YOU'RE READING THIS, Please come here & save me or live with me, cause i know you're in more of a hell hole than me! Come be with me i'm bored & need a human companion that i don't have to feel pressured by!
Back to reality...i really need to know what happens next in gossip girl...and i don't think the next ep is out yet, cause its now SEASON 3~ I don't get why all the good shows go so slow...but for now i'll go watch Dirty Sexy Money.

You know you love me
x.o.x.o

So sick :[

I am terribly sick! I will shoot someone if i don't get better soon.
My throat hurts so bad I should be croaking soon!!
And i decided to buy strepsils! Lemon Honey!! i made Lemon Honey tea too!!
YUMM! but sore throat :(

People Should Mind Their Own Business.

Fucking people can't mind their own fuckin' business & let me do my shit my own way!
I hate people like that, it had nothing to do with them whatsoever and they like to butt in other peoples shit & ruin it for them! I need alcohol..i am so fuckin pissed off only God himself can help me!
Really people these fuckin days..fucking nosy parkers.

Creative Photography Of The Day;<3

Make-Up Of the Day:

Fashion Photography Of The Day:

Decisions...decisions; To be or Not To be?

I've Decided that the following will be apart of my birthday...

;Venue
;Photographer
;A night long of partying.
;Alcohol & Drunken nights
;Dress to Impress

I think this is what i want...still not too sure. I may just want quiet drinks & a night out...really...there's no need to party.
I don't really do much on any of my birthdays. Actually yeah I won't do anything...just can't be bothered.
Birthdays has gotten boring ever since i had them as i got older...BORING. So i guess maybe just a REG night out in town.
I just wanna spend it with the people i love & care oh so much for<3>


Oh & what i said about falling inlove, Now i have to figure out if i want to actually say the words...Tell the person how much they actually MEAN to me, what's bad is the person is such a dear friend.
I don't want to make it go feeling all awkward with silence or anything..& i have to figure out what i want...& if i do want it...if i should tell him at all.
Relationships & Love lives are so troublesome. Its too early to say anything though so i want to wait...but apparently here's how it goes for my girl & Guy friend:

Guy:

Sometimes the person you care about most is right infront of your face and you don't even know it or realise it until it's too late for you to do anything about it.
Right now you're okay so i think you should tell him if you want him, its better knowing now then live wondering how it would have been.

Girl:

I don't think you should say anything at all..it's too early, it's cute but it's too early.

HELLO! somebody give me answers more options these are too complicated, i myself don't even know if i want to or not...especially if the guy is my friend - FML!

Ed Westwick; ohSOsexy

When your ♥ Beats;

Epic fail @ Love life = ME! I am INlove, INtoxicated and EMbarrassed. Ah my hearts beating 10x faster my brains are confused and muddled up..it does not know what to think! I don't know what to say how to feel...This is by far the worst of me; lets face it! I SUCK @ LOVE LIFE. I mean i've been single most the time literally & I don't even feel this gushed over boys ever.
Calling for Clark Kent = SOMEBODY SAVE ME! All of a sudden your emotions rush over and Your heart beats faster you go crazier you get fits of giggles and all ...is that EVEN A NORMAL THING?! & Now when you do think its always about "What is he thinking?, How does he feel?" I feel like a little girl falling inlove all over again & last i checked i was only suppose to be in love with CHOCOLATE!

SO; you must be dying to know how on earth this all happened...the crazy shinanigans?!
WELL... here's the 411

So lastnight...I fell for someone..YEPP THAT SIMPLE! that's all there is to it :)

I've been out of it for so long getting back in seems like an all new thing to me...It drives me nuts...
I am not THAT keen on this.. & this all happened on a simple Saturday May 23rd...gee i know what they mean now by
expect the unexpected. I feel like a little girl ahhh! I'm going pink in the cheeks and i NEVER blush.

HELP ME! tell me what to do..SAVE ME! do something!!

xoxo will get back at this.

OMG cute wedding dress!!

Last night I fell in love without you...

Last night I fell in love without you.
I waved goodbye to that heart of mine
Eating solo on your lawn
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swel
lIn memory of what we used to call in love
Used to call it love
Last night I fell in love without you
The cou de gras that set me off
Would've made for decent fiction
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
Used to call it...Last night I fell in love without you
The stars at night aren't as big and bright
As you make them out to be
Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
In memory of when we used to call it love

Gossip Girl EP 25 S-2 SPOILER

YAY BLAIR & CHUCK GET TOGETHER @ THE END WOOHOO

You Know You Love Me x.o.x.o; Gossip Girl

So far in the show- The main casts are graduating from highschool...with all the scandal they get in you'd think they were graduating Drama school...(oops they probably already did)

So here's how it goes...I'm writing down a list of things i feel about the cast (the character they play) the good/bad things about them! Doesn't matter what YOU think, you can comment on it...but this is MY blogg.

Serena Van Der Woodsen:

Smart, Delightful, Sophisticated & Stupid.

I don't get all these idiots shes been dating?! She's so pretty can't she go for someone more her kind of class then these geeky idiots who are downright STUPID!

She needs to learn more from Blair&Chuck!

Blair Waldorf:

Gorgeous, Smart, Scheming & Bitchy...

She has it all under control really...except sometimes she does too much & ends up being given nothing for all the hard work in scheming and gossiping she does! She is still my favourite chicky in the show so far...& I think Chuck is perfect for her.

Jenny Humphrey:

Smart, Dumb (At the same time), Noob & Needs to try harder.

This new-comer little sister of Dan Humphrey really needs to open her eyes & realise she's going to school on upper eastside not lower...So "World peace" isn't going to happen.

Really you'd think she'd stop trying with what goes on around her but no...this little peacemaker is going down slowly & she doesn't even realise it...& WTF was that stunt she pulled off when Serena tried to give her a good birthday party...fuckin' loser. Go back to the Lower side of life.

Nate Archibald:

Hot, Smart, Minds his own business & Clueless.

This guy really doesn't care whats going on around him unless you're in his family, which is great really because otherwise he'd be the talk of the show for being an idiot not being the hottie.

But one great flaw is going from one girl to the other then back to the same girl again!!

Really...VANESSA?! i mean shes ok looking & all but obviously it's never going to work when you're a rich kid from upper eastside with THE MOST DEMANDING FAMILY!

Chuck Bass:

Hot, Smart, Scheming, Childish & Cool?

This guy is inheriting SHIT LOADS of money from his good dear old dad's death, what does he do?...Nothing...really nothing...he should be out there trying to get the girl he wants instead of sleeping around and saying he loves her that's why he's doing that.

All in all he's a ladies man...quite the catch...the charmer really.

My favourite guy on the show :P

Dan Humphrey:

Smart (With no common-sense), Not really ideal looking & Annoying.

I downright hate Dan, he's the goody too shoes that gets everyone around him no where in life aswell as himself. He really needs to learn to stay out of upper eastsides Shinanigans and mind his own business...even Nate doesn't get into it as much as this idiot right here.

By being good...really he's just causing more trouble...AND SLEEPING WITH THE TEACHER?

Not ever getting the story straight but twisted...idiot.

x.o.x.o

Same Sex; Love-Story

Lesbian; Gays; Bisexual = ???

So! I decided to write a little blogg posting about same sex & why there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it. POINTERS:

-Do you really date someone for their Gender?

-The Art of Attraction is different for everyone.

-If its okay for girls to like girls why not guy&guy?

-Why is it Illegal in some countries? What if some of us don't believe

in Jesus Christ? why isn't THAT illegal!!!

So all i really wanted to say is...I reckon its normal,

There's really no big deal at all!

New Moon ; POSTER!!

I am definately excited to see the movie!! ` bet it may be shit again cause they don't spend enough time on it!

But i'd do anything to sit in the cinema starring up @ sexy people :P AKA Robert Pattinson && The guy who plays Carlisle *drools* && I have the poster to NEW MOON; here it is!

Chocolate VS Love- its a given.

People say chocolate triggers the same emotion as Love does...Guess which i choose?

CHOCOLATE! fuck love! it is so annoying, time consumming & when it doesn't work out...WHO DO YOU TURN TO? CHOCOLATE!! Thats right!

I Personally think chocolate is nice! It satisfies you, never asks for anything in return & You can love it forever...Till death do us part...or As long as we both shall live (But this just means you gotta buy more) So WHAT'D YOU SAY?! chocolate Or Love?

No I'm not venting this out cause I'm single..i mean even if i fell inlove with someone chocolate is always going to be there for me...so i say..Chocolate is simply just the BETTER LOVER.

Agreed? or Agree? And they come in whatever shapes and sizes! And when it hits easter & Valentines...its ALL ABOUT CHOCOLATE! not even about the lovers...its about recieving Lady Godiva and Falling inlove all over again!!

Though the down side is...love with chocolate cost! But the upside is...it doesn't cost as much as being in a relationship for 2 years and breaking up with that person and never getting them back and they're never able to please you like chocolate..whos always been by your side..from the start.

Eller or Armin; Van Buuren Brothers ♫♪

Another Canadien Picture.

www.fmylife.com

I absolutely love this site:

FMYLIFE.COM

So I am too keen to put some of my favourite FML's on here! Or...Some FML's cause i cbf looking for all the favourite ones..that site has SHIT LOADS!

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then proceeded to ask, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

DHF or Overseas?

So it is my birthday soon people!!! VERY SOON!! Okay i kid...not THAT soon but it will be on ....July 4th yes yes Americans Independance day!!! FUCK YEAH! & i HAVE No idea what i'm going to do!...Since I want to go to melbourne but then there's always DEEP HARD N FUNKY!..
With all the Music...& the people...my homies <3>

Back by popular demand DEEP HARD N FUNKY, New Zealand’s biggest party night returns this IndependDANCE Day Saturday 4th of July.

DEEP HARD N FUNKY 2009SATURDAY 4th of JULY (INDEPENDANCE DAY)@ ELLERSLIE RACECOURSE

Back for one show only this year, on July 4th @ Ellerslie Racecourse, after consecutive sell out shows at the Vector Arena, Deep Hard N Funky is expanding into the multi-level venue with a six-room party extravaganza! And as is always expected at Deep Hard N Funky events, a monster lineup has been secured…


We are pleased to announce:
Alan Braxe (Stardust, France)
Thomas Gold (Germany)
Graham Cordery (Soulful House Experience)
Lorne Padman (Vicious Vinyl)

Supported by a strong local lineup featuring:
Tim Phin : Sam Hill : Greg Churchill : Angela Fisken : Sample Gee : General Lee : Bevan Keys : Nick D : Once Were DJ’s (Thane Kirby/Carolyn Jane/Rich Carey) : Dan Aux : Justin Sane : Cam Robertson : Daniel Farley : Maya & Vanya : Andy Crump : Dizasta Boyz : Joe Johnson : Kenny D : Dougy G : Mark Swann : DY : Dave Ti

That is a PRETTY smoothe line up..actually the only guy im excited to see is THOMAS GOLD! the man! but still not one of my FAVOURITES! so what to do; what to do....Hmm..Deep hard n Funky sounds exciting though!! Seeing everyone there...I will post up more about my birthday when it is closer to the day and when i am not being an indecisive weirdo!!

But one things I know for sure!; IF i do happen to have it here I would like to see everyone and anyone!!

xoxo

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶♫ Lonely Girl - Above&Beyond Pres. Oceanlab (Gareth Emery Mix)

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶♫ Lonely Girl - Above&Beyond Pres. Oceanlab (Gareth Emery Mix)

Staring at the top sheet

Listening to my heart beat

Wondering how to say it

Playing over one track

Wanting you to come back

Want to have you here

Lying on a cold sheet

Jump into my car seat

Drive down to the river

Nightlight its reflecting

Somehow I'm expecting

Your voice in my ear

I wish that I could tell you

I wish that I could tell you

I wish that I could tell you

All the thigs that you do

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

Lying in the long grass

Watching as the clouds pass

Hands held in silence

Your arms right around me

Feeling glad you found me

Feeling like I'm home

Wish you would remember

April to september

Wanting to be near me

Racing for the sunrise

Staring into my eyes

You and I alone

I wish that I could tell you

I wish that I could tell you

I wish that I could tell you

All the thigs that you do

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

Lay back in my own dream

playback on a big screan

You and me together

Why give up a love found

Wish that I could write down

What you mean to me

I wish that I could tell you

I wish that I could tell you

I wish that I could tell you

All the thigs that you do

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl again

Come back 'cause I'm gonna be a lonely girl

(so lonely... so lonely.... so lonely... so lonely...)

Was it so wrong

No you said you loved me

Could ït be so easy

Just to walk away

Kärlek

Shakespeare säger att kärleken är blind,

snarare jag säger att kärlek gör du

se saker som du wouldnt annat se.

Det i sin tur kan göra dig blind.

Om du vet vad jag menar?

ENG

Shakespeare says that love is blind,

rather I say that love makes you see things

that you wouldn't otherwise see.

That in turn can make you blind.

If you know what I mean.

P a s s i o n ♥ F a s h i o n [iCON]

Designer DRUGS; ♥ Photography.

Flair for Hair

So I'm going to re-do my hair again like always! This time i need your help in choosing cuts & colours

(This is mainly for Tom...cause its due this friday)

Le Canada ♥

I Miss Tom.He
♥

This Blogg is especially for Tom.He!!! An Exclusive heart to heart blogg haha- Ok..really it is ...its filled with memories from when i was in CANADA!

Ok so WHEN i lived in Canada, before i came back to Lonely New Zealand & got corrupted with night life!

I had AMAZING friends in CANADA... Tom was one of them ♥ I remember when we would always go out for bubble tea & sushi!!

And i would always make them eat when they were FULL & Even if they didn't want to eat...I'd make them FULLER!

Oh & We would always go shopping! Tom gave Angie this really nice perfume he liked...& then made me buy him another in replace..

& OUR FAVOURITE thing to do was CUT our hair constantly!!! We ended up doing it every 2-3 weeks instead of every 4-6 weeks!!

We had a cool hairdresser where we went to, His name was John! & he still works there...it was called "Hair Avenue"

Oh && i even dated a hairdresser..his homo name was Parco...that asshole..haha

Tom would always smoke also...BELMONTS...& when he had no other choice he would also smoke CRAVENS...

& Kevin would always rant on about China...This year he basically stayed there...I MISS YOU TOO KEVIN..

& There was cute little Jojo ><" she is so adorable...and crazy Samurai who decided everyone needed Japanese names ROFL >O<

& Tom told me his life story when we got to know eachother..like how he ran away and he had a girlfriend he really loved...

Me&Tom weren't always hanging together...but he was like a brother...XD I KISSED HIM ON THE CHEEK AT THE SUBWAY TOO!

Looking back now i seem like a little kiddy...OH & also...we had/have an OBSESSION for Vivienne Westwood..still do till this day!

& This year Tom plans to be a future Fashion designer! So i guess we are all falling under the creative jobs now!!

OH & THERE WAS KENRICK...he was a little lion!! You should have seen his haircut XD...its gone now though!!

But i miss these guys so much xx

Thats the end of the story..there's alot more but im summarizing it!

xoxo

Bra musik aldrig dör!!

I love GOOD music!

Especially trance! Oh god! That genre takes you to another space & Time!!

Right Now I am so Obssessed with ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶♫ Lonely Girl - Above&Beyond Pres. Oceanlab (Gareth Emery Mix)

Such a good tune!! RECOMMENDED for sure!!

NOTE:

I realised I'm not writing in Swedish for this blogg only cause i doubt anyone Swede friends of mine would want to know about TRANCE?!
They're probably inlove with BASSHUNTER. HAHA!!
Not that man is a pure natural FAG.

& Now i am hungry :(

Somebody stop me from eating...I am getting so fat.

I ALSO BLAME ALOT OF THE EATING ON JEREMY.LEE (ex-fiance)

I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS JEREMY! You made me eat so much chocolate by reminding me.

But NONE MORE OF THAT! as you know my self-constraint is pretty good now :D

I hope so anyway!!

I am such a zombie, it is now 6:02am ;

I have work SOON & i am up writing in a stupid blogg.

I also HAPPENED to pass by quite an interesting blogg which i hope everyone will soon read...

WHOEVER WROTE IT IS AN AMAZING WRITER...very aspiring..

ANYWAY; the BLOGG is called "LE CONFLICT EXPERIMENT"

read it.

I am going to kill SOMEONE if I do not get some sleep soon...

PROBLEM IS...I can't sleep.

& I AM UP Talking to Ronski Speed.

That is also another DJ i recommend you listen to..ACTUALLY HERE'S A LIST OF THEM:

Armin Van Buuren

Blank&Jones

Oceanlab
Ronski speed

Agnelli&Nelson

Jared Knapp
Above&Beyond

Gareth Emery

Nitrous Oxide

Ferry Corsten

Paul Van Dyk

Markus Schulz

ATB

Paul Oakenfold
John Digweed

Sander Kleinenberg

Deep Dish
Dirty South
Satoshi Tomiie
DJ Sasha

ETC ETC

GOODBYE xx

Flickor som talar med mycket!

Hur kan tjejer vara så irriterande ? De talar oavbrutet om alla men själv! Jag hatar folk gillar det! De får på mina nerver så mycket !

Dess alltid skvaller skvaller skvaller....Det dumma flicka doest vet vad som kommer för henne! säger skit om mig på sin blogg !!!

Vem tror hon att hon är! Jag kommer att slå skiten ur henne !!!! Hon är bara en dum Barbie docka är hon lura sig själv ?

Har hon tror att jag vill vara hennes vän jag kan stjäla hennes pojkvän snabbare än hon kan blinka !

jag dont känner för att skriva längre...

xoxo

FARVÄL